I don't think brook has ever known best
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize