as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Randomize
