I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
