Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
