her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
