he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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