It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
