But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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