if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize