I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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