that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
