and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
