Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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