I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
