why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
