On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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