I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
false alarm, still single
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