U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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