Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
