How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
