i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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