I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
