Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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