You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
