I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
