It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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