Ambien. No doubt about it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
