I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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