This girl is more easily done than said...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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