why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
