i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
