Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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