i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
