I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
