how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
