Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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