based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
