And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
