Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
