the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
