Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
