Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
