I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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