i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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