apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
