she woke up with a sticky ear
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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