omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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