If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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