He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
