He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
