I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
