I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
