It's just like the Real World with babies
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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