He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
