You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
