love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
