you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
