It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
