ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
