Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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