At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
