and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
