Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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