Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
