how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Success! We fucked roommates!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
