is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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