That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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