did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
